In November of 2019, I was diagnosed with Teenage Depression and till March 2020 I was steadily down. My thoughts lingered on what was wrong with life and the pain that is suffered all around the world. During quarantine, I felt that I had not “lived my teenage years” by drinking or partying so I got with a friend and started smoking pot. Weed became a social activity as well as a private daily activity. During this time I started dating a girl who I fell head over heels in love with. However, as the relationship turned emotionally abusive I started to use pot to calm my brain and not linger on the pain that I was suffering. Shortly after the relationship, I was diagnosed with PTSD due to flashbacks of the trauma endured in that romance.
I upped my meds but continued to abuse marijuana till I got caught by my parents and was severely punished. Starting then I made a promise to my parents and myself that I would grow “in mind, body, and soul.” I began a simple meditation practice to clear my anxiety and try to live more in the moment as opposed to the dark corners of my mind. I progressed to studying Buddhism and Buddhist meditation techniques, Hinduism and yoga, and Wiccan ideals. This quest for spirit brought me out of my depression and taught me how to control my mind and thoughts to the positive and the beauty in life as opposed to the dark that I lived in for so long.
I want my story to show that we are not our mental illnesses. It takes lots and lots of determination but life can change for the better. When one of us grows it shows that all of us can
grow and I want to share that light through my art.
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