My story is simple. I suffer from PTSD, anxiety, and depression—all of which started in my 30s. My ex-husband was the beginning of it all, and things only intensified after serving three combat deployments to Iraq (two for 12 months and one for 18 months).
He was never physically abusive, but sometimes I think that might have been easier to recognize. For six long years, he controlled everything—even what I ate. I had to weigh myself every morning, and if I was over 105 pounds, I was considered “fat.” He was a narcissist who twisted everything and made me feel like it was my fault.
In 2006, I finally found the courage to stand up to him. It’s taken a long time to feel even somewhat comfortable in my own skin. The PTSD stems from both him and the deployments. No one can truly understand deployment unless they’ve been there—lying in your cot not knowing whether the sound you hear is a mortar coming in or one of our own rounds going out. And it’s crazy, but over time, you get used to it. You learn the difference.
I was one of the lucky ones—I made it home. But honestly, I don’t think we ever really come home. I’ve been retired and living back in Alabama since 2012, less than five miles from what I call home. Still, every day is a struggle just to get up and keep moving. Most days, I feel alone in a crowded room.
And yet—I’m still one of the lucky ones. I’ve raised an amazing young man by myself, and he now attends UAB. I’m currently attending the University of Montevallo and will graduate in Fall 2025 with my BS in Art and a minor in Psychology. My next goal is to earn my master’s in counseling and become an art therapist so I can help other veterans—so there’s less need to make pieces like Lost Souls.
The struggles are real, even when they’re invisible. I’ve lost far more battles since coming home than I ever did in combat. This story is mine, but it’s not mine alone. Too many soldiers come back haunted, needing help—but the stigma around asking for it makes some give up instead.
Angela
Lost Souls
NFS
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